My Writing

My armor of anxiety often obscures my equanimity. Someone I love very deeply had a surgery yesterday. I am breathing comfortably again. Sometimes that same suit of armor helps me figure out how to find the centered place of calm within. Last week I was locked inside a metal suit of anxious thoughts and feelings.  Every time I tried to let go of the fear of bad future outcomes, within seconds I was swimming in worry again. I kept trying to bring myself back to the present, onl

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." This is a great Buddhist quote. It reminds me of...

Do you want to know when you will die? I don't.  It seems like it's part of the ultimate mystery of life. So extraordinary and so...

When my children were born, the fear of losing them also was born. I don't think a day went by for their first 20 years that I did not...

"Grief begins not with death, but the moment we sense something precious slipping away." "If you don't grieve, you cut the lifeline to...

Did you ever think you would become a Conscious Elder?  I hear people in my Death Cafes talk about how much the spiritual path has opened...

I have a 99 year-old client who is sharp as a tack! He says he has dementia. While the computer that is our brain may be slowing down,...

Both! End of Life Doulas help hospices achieve their mission! Hospice nurses and aides are angels! They are caring, empathic healthcare...

My friend of 30+ years is going through it big time. Her partner of 20+ years is dying. In two weeks- or perhaps two months- she will...

If you hate poetry, you will love Andrea Gibson, who died in July at age 49. I dare you to read this! Love Letter from the Afterlife By...

One day last month, I coughed 276 times in a day. And peed 16 times, 5 of which demanded that I rise from sleep. It was a bad day. I had...

My mom got her wish for death on April 25th, 2017, exactly 5 years and 2 hours after her eldest daughter, one of my two sisters, died....

Do you have someone who cuts your hair just the way you like it?  Or a massage therapist that you see when you need some healing touch? ...

"I wish I'd let myself be happier." One of the top five regrets of the dying is this desire for happiness.  Some people have the...

It is 13 years since my sister died. and In a few hours it will be 8 years since my mom died. In my tiny backyard, I wave to the...

So many amazing, hot women! Seventeen years ago when I went through menopause, I was hard pressed to find information about it, through...

I am not a 12-Step person but there are two 12-Step axioms that I just love. In my 60's, I think I finally get what they mean....

A woman cried in my arms when we finished her advanced care directive. "You have no idea what this means to me. I have been trying to do...

Mommy, before I was alive, was I dead like Daddy?"  Out of the mouths of babes, right?  This babe was a toddler, named Katie, asking her...

I want to have a sense of completion before I die, assuming I die slowly like 90% of us do. Dr. Ira Byock wrote about this. As we...