Did Hospice Kill Your Brother?

Did hospice really kill your brother?

I hear things like this often.

That hospice overmedicated a loved one who died from too much of a painkiller like morphine.

Or that hospice didn't seek to revive their parent when they coded.

Or that hospice wasn't available when they were needed the most.

I want to say hospice is an incredible service, available for free for all residents of the USA.

It has the honor of being one of the rare bills signed into law on its first try. (Most take many times and must concede changes to the original proposed legislation.)

Hospice is there to help support the dying person's natural journey to death with comfort care and comfort medicine.

Hospice does not seek to prolong life. Nor does it seek to hasten death.

Yes, sometimes hospice could give less pain meds, tailored according to the dying person's and the family's wishes.

Yes, hospice as a movement was in general more mission-driven and incredible when it was mostly housed in the non-profit sector. But it still is amazing. Many hospice nurses are beloved as angels by the surviving families.

Yes, many hospices, especially private agencies, have a high census and hospice nurses have too large of a patient load, thereby reducing the time they have with each patient.

Still, hospice is an important and wonderful service.

You get to pick the hospice in your area that you want.

You can tell them what you or the dying person wants and doesn't want. Find a hospice that will work with you.

You have the right to inform hospice of your or your dying person's wishes at the end of life and plan for how hospice can help. Find a hospice nurse who gets it.

You can bring in an end of life doula, like myself, to support hospice's efforts and provide emotional support for long periods of time. Find a death doula near you.

If the dying person qualifies, hospice may support medical aid in dying. If your doctor says you have 6 months or less to live, and you live in a state where MAID is legal, you will find support.

Death for 90% is not primarily a medical event. It is an emotional-spiritual-extraordinary human event.

Working together, we can help towards death acceptance, comfort and greater ease.

We cannot control sickness or when death occurs, but we can provide help and support.

Let hospice and end of life doulas support you.