I binge watched Netflix’s second season of Love is Blind and had an Aha moment!
Newly single after a 23-year relationship, I took to internet dating like a fish to water eighteen months ago. I considered it a sociological experiment.
First, I became very selective about which profiles resonated with me, by reading the lines, between the lines, and all around.
Then, secondly and assuming mutual interest, I found that if some rapport was developed through talking online via the dating app’s texting system, we would almost always meet in person (or via zoom).
The key ingredients were for that initial rapport were good energy, easy connection and common values.
That is exactly what happens in the pods on the show ‘Love Is Blind’? The couples, with a wall between them, can only talk. The ones who develop rapport, feel an ease to their connection, find they have a lot in common, level up!
In online dating, meeting in person definitely ups the ante. The focus turns towards the rocky terrain of sexual chemistry and personality compatibility. I met quite a few men that I really felt a rapport with initially, but upon meeting in person, that connection was only as friends. (New friends are awesome!)
Once the couples on Love is Blind meet in person, they are already on the love train heading towards marriage, which is a bit silly. However, the question of sexual and emotional compatibility looms large, just as it does for us online daters.
There is no quick way of knowing. It takes time together. For me, its months and maybe longer. On the show, it’s about a month. Pretty cra cra. But the question is the same: Is there connection deep enough to translate into a long-term, committed, happy, loving relationship?
On ‘Love Is Blind’ they call this approach a social experiment. It’s amazing how fast the relationship issues surface to threaten that wonderful original connection. Six couples came from the pods and I am guessing that maybe one will survive. My bet is that with more time to grow together as a couple, the odds would improve for couples who have the connection, the chemistry and the compatibility. They just need time to be on their side.
I am five months into my social experiment. I find my feelings slowly and happily growing with my new guy. I relish the time to build something with him. I am hoping we survive.