Are You Participating in Your Emotions?

I did therapy on and off for a total of thirty years. I had a very high ACE (adverse childhood events) and it took me a minute. Or two. 

I received this daily Buddhist quote in my inbox a few days ago and I have since read it dozens of times.

This quote is better than all the tools I learned those thirty years: 

"Whenever you are experiencing an emotion, ask yourself: "Am I going to feel the emotion or be aware of the emotion?" In other words, are you going to watch it as an uninvolved observer, or are you going to participate in the emotion?"

Nowadays I often can remember to do this. To just notice the feelings and get curious about them. I am much less reactive. I see my emotions as data that give me valuable information.

Sometimes my partner tells me that I seem cerebral or analytical, and he is none too pleased with me, but really I am just noticing, with attachment or aversion. He is starting to realize there are benefits to my observation and non-attachment.

I had a conflict with a woman a year and a half ago and I wish I had been able to do that then. I didn't. I felt anger and aversion. Now, I am not attached to the story I had told myself about what happened. Now I am happy I moved on.

I didn't speak to my ex-husband for twenty five years. Then we spent a year communicating about the demise of our relationship. It was healing and I think of him with peace.

I hope when I am on my deathbed that I have no unfinished business with others. I am working on that. I am also working on letting go of regrets and forgiveness towards myself.

Have you observed being an uninvolved observer to your emotions? How's it going?