Missing Hikey and Barb

It is 13 years since my sister died. and In a few hours it will be 8 years since my mom died.

In my tiny backyard, I wave to the cannisters that hold their ashes. The third cannister holds the ashes of my father.

Earlier today I lit a candle for them to memorialize their death anniversary, also known as a yehrzeit candle. 

I texted my kids so they could remember their grandma and their aunt. They sent back heart emojis. Their college education was largely paid for by their grandma and their aunt.

I yearn to talk to my mom these days, more than I have in the 8 years since she died.

I feel like she would have some wisdom for me. 

Something I need to hear. 

Something I want to know.

I don't feel in touch with her spirit, but I am going to ask her to grant me her wisdom, tonight when I go to sleep.

She loved chocolate cake. This was her last birthday cake 8 years and 3 months ago. She loved it. And at 94 years old, she giggled with glee as she ate it. 

She knew the sweetness and deep pain of life. She knew you can't have one without the other.

I had a good mom. My kids had a good grandma. 

To Hikey and Barb, your memories are a blessing