My Writing

"The silence of this place is as real and solid as sound. More real, in fact." Written by Admiral Byrd in 1934, alone in a shack near the South Pole for five months. He received messages by radio from his friend President Roosevelt. Though close at times to death, he "felt more alive," he confesses, in his solitude, "than at any other time in my life." To feel alive because of silence, reminds me of the silence of death in a weird kind of way. Byrd's solitude, by definition,

It’s weird what makes me feel rich. I feel super rich right now. I just came back from the library with a stack of books I can't wait to read. I am a voracious reader. Now that I am semi-retired, I frequently consider spending less time working as an end of life doula and conscious dying educator and more time reading. I am in two book clubs and am considering a third. I love books. Too much. They make me feel rich. I won't even go into book stores anymore because I get into

Death Doulas Get A Shout Out On The Pitt on Season 2 Episode 5! In the first season of The Pitt, we got to hear renown Dr. Ira Byock's 'four most important words at the end of life', which are: Thank you, I Love You, Please forgive me, I forgive you. Now, in the second season, we got to relish a scene with a death doula (with the red hair and braid in the photo) supporting a family in a medical crisis. She was depicted as a caring, compassionate, support person, who was ther

My mom refused morphine for two years! My sweet mom died almost eight years ago at age 94 of COPD. Last week was her birthday and she would be 103 years old. She was on hospice for 2.5 years. The hospice nurses and I spent 2 years trying to get her to use a small, tiny amount of morphine. "It will open up your airways and help you breathe more easily," they said. "Mom, just try it once!" I said, over and over again. She refused. She associated morphine with death. It was impo

How do you honor the death anniversary of a loved one? Here is a great hack! In a recent Death Cafe that I facilitate, two women talked about the brilliant, creative and inspiring ways they honor their dead loved ones. One goes to a decidedly unfancy restaurant, eats a simple meal, and tips the unassuming wait person the age her mom would be on the anniversary of her death. That waitress just earned a $100 tip and goodness knows, she needs it. Some years, the same woman has g